Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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