come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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