Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
