i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
