forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
