i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
