even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize