All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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