Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
