Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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