I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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