the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
