because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
