Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
