So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I touched a dick in church today
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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