Soap is not a condiment
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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