I wish I could punch you in the face.
Nicole vs. Life
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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