Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize