My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
