He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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