:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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