I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
