He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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