The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
