East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
