Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
