I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
