thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Randomize
