Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
