well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
