I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
