if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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