she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
