Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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