He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize