I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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