Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize