she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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