Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
