I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
