Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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