when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
