don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
