'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
why is half of my head shaved?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
