I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize