it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
