Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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