we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
