tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
