let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
