What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
