there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I have aggressive nipples.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
