if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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