Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
