Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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