Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize