no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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