No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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